When I first started comedy in February, my primary concern was with my speech, of which I am extremely self-conscious. In addition to sounding a little deaf, I am also a bit tongue tied and speak way too fast when I'm nervous (which I always am on stage). Then when I finally got up, I was faced with a new challenge I hadn't considered: When I perform, I have to do so without any feedback from the audience. I can't tell how my material is received. For the most part, this has actually turned out to be a good thing. I've learned to trust my jokes and just put them out there. Usually they're so knee-slapping funny that my biggest problem is stepping on laughs (oh comic talk for carrying on to the next joke while people are still enjoying my previous one). When a joke isn't well received I'm none the wiser and carry on like a drunk who thinks she still looks as good as she did when she left the house. Bottom line: laughs or no laughs, it doesn't tend to make a difference to me. I've got the 90's canned laughter laugh track on a loop up here in the ol' noggin' and I get thrills out of delighting my audience every time I take the stage!
In all seriousness, I have seen comics not get laughs on early jokes and their confidence just plummets and it poisons the rest of their set. I'm glad I don't have to deal with this. My advice to comics would be to just let heckles, groans and no laughs fall on deaf ears.
The problems with my speech are not so easily resolved. It's affecting my stage presence and I look like a total dork just standing in front of the mic rocking back and forth on my feet like Rain Man. I am going to look into taking elocution lessons to work on my speech. Some shun sunshine. Do you shun sunshine? Then I want to practice speaking with a microphone so I can become confident that I am being heard on stage. The only time I have ever spoken into a microphone has been during my gigs, which of course is no place to practice of course. My friends and family are all too polite to tell me what I can plainly see in my videos: "Chrissie, you chubby* twat! Sloooowwww down and learn how to talk!" My dad has broached the subject by saying: "You need to move around more. Don't just stand there telling dick jokes." LOL oh Daddy! I don't mind putting in the work I need to in order to improve my delivery.
*I have gained weight in the last 2 years and it needs to go. Something about chubby makes comedy sad for a woman. It's a horrible double-standard that exists in comedy. I'm not going to sit around arguing the fairness of this when I can be out shedding the pounds. Maybe you disagree. Well, watch me be funnier at my goal weight of 130 lbs. You'll have no choice but to be persuaded...and extremely turned on.
Don't forget to tip your housekeeper.
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